A supervillan(ess) is born

Somewhere between watching Spanish television and "chatting" with customer service online*, I came to the realization that I was going to make a career change.

I am going to go into marketing. (It is true, I have quit the non-profit and have accepted a position with a marketing firm).

Not because of the age old adage if you can't beat them, join them. Well, maybe because of this. But also because of the fact that I have secretly always wanted to be a supervillan. Make that supervillaness with a velvet cape, a mask, and maybe some patent leather stiletto heels...

But, Anyway I am looking forward to forming your physche and selling it to you.

As everyone knows it is important to start by advertising to the very young. In this way you can more easily shape what your victims, I mean target audience, thinks they should believe, think, act like, sound like, dress like, speak like.

My aspiration is to get so good at this that I will be able to shape my vict...target audience's method of rebellion and counter culture. Then, when I have formed the aesthetics, tenants, vocal intonation, and catch phrases of this new culture-counter I am going to sell back to you. Just like the White Stripes song. I guess hipster culture already did this. But originality is not a pre-requisite for selling stuff (or for evil).

Due to a potential conflict of interest with my sometimes-anarchist hobbies AND because, by convention supervillains are normally the alter ego of a mild mannered nerd (or is that super hero convention?), I am going to work on developing my super villainess persona.

In fact, due to a intellectual property and non-compete clause in the contract for my new firm I have invested in a new license, passport, social security number, references, and a silver 2008 Lexus. (I still can't afford this year's model of car). I am hoping to rent a highrise apartment in Belltown to use as my super villain lair.

I think I may have to forgo the cape and mask except in the privacy of my lair. Instead I will be outfitting my closet with business casual, khaki trousers and tight suits from Express. Unless the contract calls for a more hip appearance. For this I will have a collection of vintage inspired designer clothes. I will keep the patent leather stiletto heels.

With out further ado, may I introduce you to 'Jennifer Claire Schaefer'. Super villain by day, mild-mannered author by night.







*you know that stock photo of a smiling Asian woman with perfect teeth is NOT actually your customer service representative, and contrary to what he types he is not delighted to assist you. In fact he become quite petulant and insistent when you tell him you don't want to hear what amazing offers his company has tailored for you.