Ballard Bridge Blues

Part I
In Which I Complain

There is a billboard on the south end of the Ballard bridge. (Well actually there is one on both ends of the bridge). The one in question has a picture of a Toyota mini van and it says " VANquility"*.

It makes me want to bang my head against my steering wheel.

But I don't because then I might loose control of the vehicle, veer into oncoming traffic and then drive off the bridge into the water or possibly land top of the "deadliest catch' fishing boat (as seen on TV- the fishing boat, that is).

Or it might just hurt my head, and the advertisement already hurts my head enough as it is.

After several weeks of starting at the billboard sitting in back to back traffic every time the drawbridge went up I began to concoct a plan.

It was a daring, devious and slightly illegal plan. But it was done to save my sanity (and 'the deadliest catch').

Also, I had just read the "Monkey Wrench Gang" by Edward Abbey.

Yes, my friends, I concocted a plan to perform the second act of vandalism of my otherwise well bred existence. (peeing in the park does NOT count).


* Toyota wants you to know that by buying their product you will also be purchasing 'peace of mind**' There will be no nasty recall with this product, the breaks will not malfunction and you will not loose control of you vehicle and veer into oncoming traffic and drive off the bridge.....


** 'peace of mind' is actually a little hippie/elf version of yourself that lives in the trunk of your car with rainbows and unicorns. I know this because I saw it on TV.

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Part II

In Which Some Art Happens

I really like the muralist Henry. You, know the one whose paintings are scattered through Fremont, Ballard and elsewhere?

http://www.seattlepi.com/visualart/400609_muralist19.html

Well it is irrelevant, I suppose, because Henry is a well known muralist and would probably not consent to being part of an obvious act of vandalism. It was a good idea though....

My friend Priscilla is a pretty good artist though, and her boyfriend has a really big ladder and some window washing equipment.

At first we wanted to paint right over the advertisement, Banksy style, but Priscilla said, no, no way could she do that and make it look good with out getting caught. And the point was to make it look really good. Actual art, not just graffiti.

In the end we made several large strips of painting that Priscilla and Scott glued over the advertisement at 3 in the morning while wearing "official" dayglo orange vests. I held the ladder.

It lasted for about a day. Now I think there is a an ad for beer up.

But. It was really beautiful for a day.

She can read, she can read, she's ba-ad

I was sitting in the bathtub yesterday reading the back of the shampoo bottle and my first instinct was to turn it around on the shelf so I wouldn't have to read about my hair type and the amazing nature of my product.
But then I thought, what an amazing thing, the way I can read. The way I absorb the meaning of those combinations of little letters almost instantly. The way I cannot NOT read something in front of me.
Reading....a book, a newspaper, a blog. It might be near to an addiction for me, because I get a better than chocolate or caffeine rush from shutting out the world to a captivating turn of phrase.

I can't really comprehend what it would mean to be illiterate/ preliterate. Would my mind be me with out those symbols attached to every word?

And I wonder if it is analogous to how I never learned to read music. All of the notes are merely dots and bars and I've got the tune in my head but I could not tell you which mark is which sound.
This doesn't stop me from singing in the bathtub, but once the sound bounces off the porcelain it is gone.

I am wondering what I am missing by not knowing how to read.