Showing posts with label fecal matter. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fecal matter. Show all posts

11 February 2011

solo perche solo piu verde del verde II: distraction

In which there is an unsolved mystery, a pencil shortage and a dog.

After the bathroom incident (and a small eclair) I did manage to get a little work done. Then, because the cafe was full, I opened up my table to a nanny and a 6 or 7 year old boy. The nanny said " I should warn you, he likes to talk". This was true. I stopped getting much work done. But I did learn about 1st grade homework and dinosaurs.

Next a father, daughter, and French bull dog* came in. They let it wander around the cafe and it frequented my feet and the croissant crumbs from the small boy next to me.
Most cafes would frown on canine customers running free. Not here. The baristsas love this dog. He is a regular. He must be hunted down, kissed, and bestowed with great praise by the new barista who is just coming on shift.

Then the barristas run off for a smoke break outside, the one who has been working all morning is brimming with the urge to tell the second barista about some other incident that happened in the bathroom. The men's bathroom. This incident has nothing to do with me or the photo in the women's bathroom, mind you. The girl begins the story in an animated tone. I want to know what has happened, what was so extraordinarily disgusting? But they slip outside where it is no longer raining, and I cannot hear the rest.

More children come in with parents and nannies afterschool to do work. Today There seems to be a shortage of pencils. The nanny and boy sitting at my table were the first to suffer from the shortage. The boy cuts in line and asks the barista if they have any pencils. No, only pens. So the nanny went to the market across the street to buy pencils while the boy told me that the ham was the most edible part of a ham and cheese croissant. Next the father of the girl with the dog mentions that they don't seem to have a pencil and he must go across the street, luckily the nice nanny intervenes and gives the girls the red mechanical pencil. Twenty minutes later a familiar looking mother comes in with her son and daughter. They had no pencils either. Nice Nanny to the rescue again.

Everyone does their schoolwork and politely give back the borrowed pencils. I decide it is time for me to go as well. I say good bye to the nanny and the boy, leave the baristas gossiping behind the counter, and head home. On the way out I see the sign on the men's bathroom door stating that it is closed until further notice.

Why? What horror of bodily function has occurred here?


* French Bulldogs are one of the uglier species of dogs. This is why people think they are so cute. Additionally, they can't swim. Their heads are too big and they will drown. This pathetic trait, the product of human breeding also serves to make the dog more cute. Really.

07 December 2009

Sound Symphony In the UW Fountain

I am afraid I haven't written in awhile. I went to Minneapolis for Thanksgiving and have been utterly consumed with work since I have been back. Not the fun kind of work either, the work to pay the bills type work.
I met a friend for lunch today in the U dist and I ended up walking through the UW campus. I don't spend much time there anymore and I forget how beautiful it really is. (on a sunny day of course).

The fountain was frozen over and an industrious student had broken large sheets of ice and collected them along the side. I watched him toss the fragments across the frozen pond where they shattered in bell like tones across the fountain. I really wished I had a recording device to capture the symphony of chimes and tinkles created by the breaking pieces of ice. A loud deep creak as the sheets were separated and then a cascade of lighter sounds. I wonder if he was paying attention to the sound or just exhilarating in the smashing.

This spectacular sequence was punctuated for me by a couple of students at the bus stop discussing the fact that the library computers had been tested and found to contain a strain of fecal bacteria. Being me I didn't want to butt in, but I felt a strong urge to tell them that I am pretty sure there are traces of fecal matter everywhere. It always comes back to feces in the end I guess.